Sunday, December 1, 2013

Crailtap May Become Skateboarding's Social Security

I'm sure a lot of you already know by now that Jerry Hsu has made the switch from Enjoi to Chocolate. That's news within itself, but since I've been extremely busy lately, I haven't had time to update much and so the moment sort of passed. It did get me thinking about the nature of Crailtap's brands- Girl, Chocolate, Royal, Fourstar, and Lakai. After a while, the thought occurred to me, and that thought was the very title of this post.

The reason I say that Crailtap may become like skateboarding's Social Security system, at least to an extent, is that it seems more and more like skateboarders hang onto their spots as members of the Crailtap family as they get older, because they know they will be treated well as they age and their coverage drops off. For anyone who wants to argue with the sentiment that there are team riders, especially on Girl and Chocolate, who don't pull their fair share, I only need 3 words to prove them wrong: Gino, Castillo, and Rick.

I want to be clear about this and say that I think it's great that Crailtap has so much respect for their riders. One of the best parts about skateboarding is that certain companies are willing to break conventions and sacrifice a little out of shear love and respect for the guys that have helped make their brand what it is today. However, from a cold, logical, business standpoint, there are guys on Girl and Chocolate who aren't pulling their weight. Looking at my short list above, Gino and Daniel Castillo had about 2-5 clips in Pretty Sweet each, and they haven't really put much else out besides that. Gino had about a minute worth of footage that was later released for a Brick Harbor promo, but the guy is a professional skateboarder who hasn't come out with a part in 5 years (the most recent being 2007's Nothing but the Truth, in which he shared a part with Brian Anderson). Ads have been pretty sparse as well. Rick Howard had exactly zero footage in Pretty Sweet. If you combined all the footage that Chico Brenes, Daniel Castillo, Rick McCrank, Chris Roberts, Gino Iannucci, and Mike Carroll had in their most recent video, you still couldn't fill out a full video part. That's not typical of most professional skateboarders.

I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not, but I can't help but wonder if Jerry Hsu took Matt Eversole's departure from Enjoi a good opportunity to move to Chocolate, where he can put in his last few good years as a professional skateboarder down and then just sort of coast for a little bit. That's what Daniel Castillo does. That's what Gino does. That's what Rick does. That's pretty much what Anthony Pappalardo was doing until recently. Guy Mariano was doing that for a while while he was a drug addict (although they eventually cut him off for his own good). Mariano of course made an amazing comeback, but we can't say the same about dudes like Chico Brenes, who has been keeping his career alive with his ability to do nollie heelflip variations and little else...

After writing these paragraphs, I realize that there's really no way to write about this without coming across as a dick, but I really just mean to point out that Crailtap is really good to their riders and I'm thankful for that. I wish Jerry the best, and in fact, when he puts out a new part, I will be more excited to see that than anything any of the McClung brothers put out.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Emerica Made

The new Emerica video is online, you guys. Word is that Thrasher is going to have it up for 3 days, then it might go to the Emerica website, then you'll have to buy it. If you skate, it is most definitely required viewing. It includes a surprise performance from Jeremy Leabres, plus Provost, Romero,  and Westgate. Westgate of course was my favorite, as he seriously looks like he's trying to break himself on every single trick, including the flatground ones. Get there while you can!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-15

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

While I actually have a great deal of fun going through and finding these great skate videos to share, it does take a lot of time to watch enough footage in order to find the diamonds in the rough. What I have decided to do, as a result, is take a couple of weeks to find more great video parts that many of you haven't yet seen. From this point forward, I will probably keep doing seasons of 15 installments (meaning breaks at 30, 45, etc.) so that I don't have to resort to having a "quantity over quality" approach.

This week, I'm going to be featuring Tommy Fynn for his part in "Part & Parcel" which is an independent video that came out in 2009. Tommy Fynn has been killing it for a while and is pretty well known, but he's also on Stereo, which means that we can't expect him to move up in the skateboarding industry or put out a new part any time soon (unless it's from his shoe sponsor, DC). Still, it seems that such a well-done part deserves a great deal of recognition, and most certainly a few good watches. The skating really doesn't have that many frills to it- it's just really good skating. Every trick is damn near perfect, especially that backside lipslide at 2:21, which is almost freakishly perfect. The nollie flip that comes soon after that passes so quickly, but is so big that it defies logic. Even with all the perfection, though, Tommy manages to cram plenty of personality into his skating, and he does tricks in such a way that you notice things the second and third time around that make his tricks seem even better. Props. Enjoy, you guys.



Monday, September 2, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-14

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

Comin' out of NYC, we've got Shane McGrane, so first and foremost-why don't more people have names that rhyme like that? It's got a nice ring to it. Secondly, Shane's skating really gets me hyped, especially for a guy that I had never heard of before a couple weeks ago when exploring the internet for video parts I hadn't yet seen. Is it because he pulls the most insanely hard tricks? No. Is it because he's jumping down the biggest set of stairs? No. Is it because all of his tricks are perfect? Not really, but that's okay, because there is a hell of finer things to like about Shane McGrane. For one thing, he seems to be able to quick-set his feet for tricks on really gnarly spots with no trouble. He does some cool and different tricks, like whatever you call that thing at 2:40, or that fastplant thing that he does at 6:21. He also has a way of doing ordinary tricks in a way that makes them seem totally fresh. Like how he floats his pop shuvits sort of vertically before catching them perfectly or how he seems to get just a little more hangtime on his 360 flips than he deserves. All of these little things, tied in with him doing a couple tricks that I have just flat out never seen before make for a pretty awesome video, and for that reason, I am proud to present this video to you guys.


Friday, August 30, 2013

Things I Really Don't Like Seeing in Skate Videos

I generally don't spew too much hate on this blog, but this is a concept that I think all skaters can relate to. We love watching skate videos, but there are certain things that we just hate to see. Maybe it's distracting, or seems unnecessary, or it just baffles us in some unexplainable way, but regardless, we see it done and it just flips our rage switch. These are my skate video pet peeves.

-Excessive Fakie Turnarounds
One of the reasons I decided to write this article in the first place is because of something that Ricky Oyola mentions at the veeeeerry end of this section of his "Epicly Later'd" episode. I understand that sometimes you're just cruising around and then you want go get back to regular to finish off the line strong, but if I see a skater do it more than a couple of times in a video part, it's as if you're saying one or all of these four things to me:
1. "I can't bring myself to skate switch, even for a second, so I'm going to turn back into my comfort zone."
2. "I don't understand the concept of flow in a line, so here are the hardest-looking tricks that I can do in a line."
3. "I can't slide my noseslides well enough to not land fakie, but my next trick has to be regular."
4. "I am too lazy to think of another trick to turn me back around."
As an extreme example, CJ Tambornino does not one, but TWO of these things in a line that starts at about 1:03

It's worth noting that CJ does some stupid-hard tricks, but I really am just not a fan of his style and seeing that was especially obnoxious. I mean, why couldn't he just have done a switch frontside flip instead of a nollie backside flip, then he would have been set up for his last trick AND he wouldn't have had to turn around  twice. It just doesn't make sense.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

KOTR 2013

Just in case you fools haven't been paying attention, King of the Road 2013 is about to go down. This year will be Enjoi, Real, Chocolate and Birdhouse. Birdhouse, as I mentioned previously, has an awesome team right now. Between JAWS, Raybourn, and Clint, there's really not a challenge too scary for that team to complete, and if they just pick a guy who can take care of some of the more technical tricks, they'll be golden. Call me crazy, but I think Shawn Hale or Willy Santos could probably hold down that position just fine. As for the other teams, I can almost guarantee that Enjoi will have the most fun (as their name implies) although, there have been rumors about some of those guys wanting to leave, so I suppose there's also a possibility of some tension, or a team that lacks both Jerry and Louie, which would ALMOST render their team pointless. As for who's going to win, I'd say it's a toss up between Birdhouse and Chocolate. Chocolate will most likely nail some of the more technical challenges, while Birdhouse will probably corner the market on the really gnarly ones, so it just depends on how the list turns out and who decides to bring their A-game. Of course Real will bring some heavy-hitters as well and they have such a huge team that they could wind up putting together some magic combination of skaters, Billy Beane style. Plus, a lot of those dudes are young and stupid enough to try even the most ridiculous challenges. I'll be watching this close, and you should be too. Here's the video, which is also my source:



Monday, August 26, 2013

A Brief Look Back at Street League Predictions

Ok, so clearly, I wasn't 100% right on all of my predictions for Street League. If you haven't seen them yet, check them out here. So now I'm going to go through all of the predictions and state how true they were, just for kicks and giggles.

1. Terrible camera work.
This was my most accurate prediction. For at least one trick, the camera was focused on a vacant quarter pipe WHILE  PAUL RODRIGUEZ WAS ATTEMPTING A TRICK. Several other times, the camera cut away from the skaters at awkward times or didn't get the best angle. It was terrible.

2. Everyone is going to pull some especially difficult tricks.
Hell yea they did. Paul did a nollie 270 to switch back lip. Luan did a frontside flip disaster on that big 'ole quarter pipe. 'Twas sick.

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-13

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

This week I stumbled upon a little independent video from the east coast titled, "In Crust We Trust". So you know this stuff is going to be sick. My favorite part was this gem from Sean Korney, who most definitely rips some crusty, chunky, true east coast spots. I don't know too much about the filmer or Sean Korney, but what I do know is the guy has a mean switch tre, and that nollie hard at the end makes me want to head out and get served on some spot. What I've also gathered is that these dudes are probably from somewhere in the greater Philadelphia area (possibly New Jersey) based on the spots- there's definitely some LOVE park footage in there. I suppose I can also conclude that these guys have some sweet taste in music. Anyway, I hope this makes you guys want to go skate as much as it made me want to.




Sunday, August 25, 2013

Greyson Fletcher on Element

Dude came out of nowhere as far as I'm concerned. I first saw him skate at the Van Doren Invitational, doing easily some of the best pool skating that I've ever seen. He was airing WAY higher out of the pool than anyone else that day, including Curren Caples, who has been known to blast off rocket ship-style This video is just a taste:


Congrats Greyson. I look forward to losing my mind watching footage of you in the future. In case anyone needs proof, here's my source.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

8 Things to Expect at the Street League Championship

I understand that a lot of skateboarders hate Street League. Honestly, I have my own qualms with it as well, but at the end of the day, I have a hard time coming up with a reason not to watch guys like Luan Oliveira, Chris Cole, Ishod Wair,  and Paul Rodriguez skate. Not to mention in the prelims you get to see Bastien Salabanzi go HAM during the run section, and find out what new obstacle Austyn Gillette has decided to kick-push at and stretch a trick over, so all in all, it's pretty fun to watch. It's pretty hard to ruin good skating, in my eyes.

Tomorrow evening, those of us who care about Street League will get to see some really good skaters go for broke for the Championship in New Jersey. The course appears to offer more options than ever before, and a lot of these guys will be laying it all on the line. Chris Cole mentioned that this was his favorite course so far, and I agree that it has potential. Just look at it.
 


Glorious.

So with that said, here are my predictions of what to expect:

Monday, August 19, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-12

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

Gustav T√łnnesen is one of those European skaters that comes in every now and then and just makes everything that American skaters are doing basically look like a joke. Nollie Bennett grinds in a line? Got 'em. Frontside half-cab flip down a 9 stair onto brick? Too easy. That frontside shuvit at 3:58 is one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

Gustav rides for Sweet Skateboards, a European company that is most definitely killing it right now. Seriously, the whole team is sick.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-11

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

The first I ever saw of Pat Dandy was just a couple of tricks in the Bones "New Ground" video. On the first view I didn't think too much of it, but after re-watching that video more recently, I realized that even those two tricks were really pretty sick, and I wanted to see what else Pat had to offer.

It turns out Pat Dandy is from New Zealand and sort of well known in Australia, although many of us in the United States haven't seen too much of him. Unfortunately, the  only decent quality footage of him that I could find ('decent' meaning not park footy or extremely low video quality footy) was a welcome video to Theeve Trucks. And yet it's still ABSOLUTELY worthy of being featured this week. The ollie at 18 seconds made me grab my head as to avoid allowing it to explode and get brain matter everywhere. The kickflip into the bank at the end could have sent ME to the hospital if he had bailed the wrong way. Pat's also sponsored by Zero and Fallen, so with any luck at all, he will have a couple of tricks in 'Cold War'. I wouldn't get my hopes to high though, given that he's probably on the Australian division, and those guys always seem to get shafted on coverage.

Friday, August 9, 2013

5 Most Crucial BATB Additions

I have to admit- I REALLY like watching Battle at the Berrics. I think it's something about the fact that it's competitive, but the skaters participating are kind of forced into a more fun, spontaneous environment, which is extremely like any other contest. It's also really cool to see guys who would normally be hucking themselves onto a handrail just messing around on some flatground.

Alright, now enough of the praise. Battle of the Berrics could be even awesomer with just a few key additions to the roster in the next tournament. Given that they generally run two BATB tournaments per year, we can expect that another one will be starting up some time in the next few months. I assume it will be a few weeks after this Run and Gun thing is over. So Steve, if you're reading this (you're not), you should totally take these suggestions seriously.

1. Issey Yumiba
Have you seen this guy skate? He can do anything he wants. In the Almost video ("5 Incher" AKA that video that was filled with awkward dick jokes) Issey demonstrates his ability to do all kinds of awkward flip tricks, some of which are in lines. He even does a fakie hardflip over a table. You don't try a hardflip over a picnic table unless you've pretty much gotten bored with all the other flip tricks that you've been able to get over a picnic table. Given that he rolls with the Almost camp, I'm sure he toys around with all sorts of crazy tricks too. And on that note...



Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Contest Round-Up

This summer has been an extremely busy contest season. Just in the last month, there have been two Street League stops, an X Games stop, the US Open, and CPH Pro. That's a lot of contests to happen in a month, and unfortunately I wasn't able to keep up with them well enough to be able to write about them. I think this is mostly due to the fact that X Games and Street League decided to team up this year and do a bunch of extra stops all over the world, which effectively tripled the amount of contest activity for the summer.

So the best I can do at this point is offer a quick recap of the last month of contests. Here we go!

First there was the Kansas City stop for Street league. We were introduced to a nice twist when Nyjah Huston got eliminated right after the flow section. The cool thing about that is he didn't totally blow his run- it's just that 7 other people did even better runs, which was awesome to see. I think the course was a little smaller than normal, which did a couple of things. First, it made Chris Cole look really out of place, since he's sort of a bigger guy who was forced to prance around on a bunch of small ledges and transition. Second, dudes got tech with it. Shane O'Neill pulled a ridiculous switch 360 double flip down the gap. P-Rod did an awesome switch flip back smith on the hubba. Chris Cole did a tre flip nosebluntslide. When all was said and done, Paul Rodriguez won this stop.Here's the full video if you're interested.


Monday, August 5, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-10

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure. It looks like I've reached my first milestone- 10 weeks of introducing these great video parts. Party on!

This week we have Josh Barclay, who's a 23 year-old ripping out in Kansas City, Missouri, if I'm not mistaken. As far as I can tell, he is currently only sponsored by Untitled Skateboards, although I'm sure that has already begun to change since he was featured on Ride Channel's Shredit Cards.  If you haven't seen that yet, I highly recommend clicking the link- the only reason I didn't feature it is because that video has been viewed over 34,000 times in a little less than two months. I couldn't continue to title this section as "Why Haven't I Seen This?" in good conscious if I posted it, so here we are, watching an amazing stack of throwaway clips instead.

You read that right- this footage, laced with demonstrations of Gravettean rail balance, technical flip tricks, and palm flips off of big drops all seems to be throwaway for some other video. This truly is an interesting time in skateboarding.



Friday, August 2, 2013

An In-Depth Look at Naming Tricks- Part 1: Confusion

Could you imagine what it would be like if skateboarding tricks didn't have names? Attempting to talk about tricks would be nearly impossible. Speaking of impossible, allow me to use that in my example. The following dialogue seems pretty normal and is taken for granted among skaters.

Skater 1: "Hey, do you remember when Geoff Rowley did that impossible to 50-50 on that hubba in 'Extremely Sorry'? That was sick."

Skater 2: "Yea. That was sick. I just wish I could do impossibles."

If you know the lingo, it makes perfect sense. If we didn't name each trick, then the same dialogue would go like this:

Skater 1: "Hey, do you remember when Geoff Rowley popped his board up in such a way that it wrapped around his back foot and spun all the way around before landing with both trucks on the edge of a downward concrete ledge beside a staircase? It was in the Flip video."

Skater 2: "What? Are you ok? It looks like you're having a heart attack."

Skater 1: "No, I'm just exhausted from trying to describe tricks to you all day."

How awful would that be? So it makes sense that tricks would have names. We're not alone in this either. Figure skaters and gymnasts have names for all of their various maneuvers too, and that's only naming a couple of examples out of many.


Now, this discussion is going to get pretty in depth, but stick with me, because hopefully I will change your attitude towards naming tricks and we don't all have to argue as much. Before I get into that, though, we need to review some basics.

For those of you who haven't thought about these things in a while, consider the frontside/backside aspect of a trick. When you rotate so that you are facing the direction of travel after the first 90 degrees, the trick is frontside, like this frontside 180:

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

P-Rod Update

Not to obsess over Paul Rodriguez's move from Plan B, but I thought I might give you all the latest on it. The Berrics posted this video in which P-Rod talks to a local radio host who knows very little about skateboarding about his move from Plan B. It sounds like Paul plans to start his own company, either by himself or with someone else who he isn't telling us about just yet. I have to be honest though, as much as I love Paul Rodriguez, I'm not sure I can see myself buying boards from his company. He's a fantastic skater, but my style doesn't quite line up with his, and I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way. Let me know how you guys feel in the comments, if you'd like.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-9

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

It's kind of incredible to think about how long Justin Strubing has been skating at such a high level. Everything about his style is great and he chooses interesting tricks to do. He's one of the unsung heroes of the industry without a doubt, and over all he seems like a really good guy. The following is his part in a video called "Destroy Everything Now" which I hadn't really heard of until finding this part. The part is definitely really good though and given that I had never heard of the video and had really only heard of the sponsor (88 footwear) a couple of times, it definitely deserves a spot in the category of lesser-seen skate videos.

Not that anyone cares, but at around 50 seconds, Sir Strubing does the same trick at the same spot that Anthony Pappalardo did in his "Fully Flared" part. Only "Fully Flared" was much later. Deal with it.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Desensitized to Gore

Pain is something that skaters live with. This seems kind of odd to a lot of people, and on some level, I understand that. When I have enough time to skate several times a week, my body is constantly covered with scrapes, cuts, and bruises. And when I'm with other skaters, they get it- they're going through the same thing. It's been this way for so long that I'm actually taken a little off guard when someone gasps and asks me about some small cut or scrape that I have.
"Oooh. How'd you do that?!" they'll say, with a bit of worry in their voice.
"Oh, that's from skateboarding" I'll reply, matter of factly.
"Well what happened?"
"Oh, well this one... I don't remember, I... Oh yea, this one was from when I slipped out trying a trick down some stairs. It's not as bad as it looks."
And then they usually spend the rest of the conversation looking at me with a puzzled look, as if to say, "Why would you do something like that?" And you have no choice but to look back at them as if to say, "It was totally worth it. Stop worrying about me."

We've all experienced conversations like this. And when you get someone who doesn't know anything about skateboarding to watch someone trying a particularly gnarly trick, you can only hope it's as hilarious as the girl's reaction at the 45 second mark in the trailer for the Deathwish video. If you miss it, they also play it in slow motion at the end. Glorious.


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

3D Skateboards

3D Skateboards is going to be Brian Anderson's new company, for those who don't know. I wasn't reporting on this earlier, but it seems that the concept has become official enough that I can go ahead and write about it. Brian Anderson quit Girl to do this company, which he talks about in this interview. The team will include Austyn Gillette and Alex Olson, and to be honest, I'm not sure how to feel about that. I of course love Austyn Gillette and everything he releases. The same year that he released a part for Thrasher, he pretty quickly whipped up this part in "Cosmic Vomit 2".



If you aren't familiar with the "Cosmic Vomit" series by Grant Yansura, they're awesome videos. Especially the part that is nothing but boardslides.

The other thing I like about this company is that Brian Anderson seems to have a level head, and I know he's at least interested in art, so it looks like 3D will have a solid image and graphics.

Now here's the part where I just start to whine and complain.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-8

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

Who doesn't love Bastien Salabanzi's parts in the "Sorry" videos? Any skater can enjoy them. And although this Jart video, "All You Need" has made it's way around the internet for a while, I still tend to think that a lot of American skaters have yet to peep it. The way he puts down backside flips and full cab flips is still unmatched to this day.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Brick Harbor... What's Your Deal?

Brick Harbor has a lot to like about it. Their team is monumental- Dennis Busenitz, PJ Ladd, Jake Johnson, Jack Curtin, Ishod Wair, Gino Iannucci, Daewon Song and Stevie Williams. Not  a weak name to be found.

Not only that, but they're constantly releasing good footage. Check out this short Leo Romero part that they just released.


They've been doing stuff like this pretty much nonstop for the last year, and I think that's awesome. They even carry some pretty solid brands on their site- I have a hard time hating on an online store that maintains a bigger selection of Roger decks than Girl decks.

Here's where I turn around and explain what I don't like about them. A while ago, I wrote about why skateboarding retail doesn't work as well online. I stand by all of those points- go to your local shop first, if at all possible.

That's not what I want to talk about in this article though. I still just get this unexplainable weird vibe from them. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I have some theories...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What Is Going On?

So let's recap what has happened in skating this year. Jason Dill and Anthony Van Engelen have left Alien Workshop. Brian Anderson left Girl to start his own company, which Alex Olsen and Austyn Gillette are also joining. Then, Paul Rodriguez updated his official web page to look like this:
And pretty much everyone is freaking out over it. Because it appears that Paul Rodriguez is no longer on Plan B.

Now the internet may have jumped the gun a little bit, because after several days of speculation, nobody has been able to figure out where he's going, what he's doing, or why he's doing it. I can't help but hope that this whole thing was a misunderstanding, and that P-Rod will have to hold an awkward press conference in which he gives a very reasonable explanation as to why he spray-painted his boards and took the Plan B logo off of his site.

But of course that doesn't seem to be the case, so I'm going to use some reasoning and clues to do what everyone else is doing and determine what his next move will be. Get ready. I've narrowed it down to a few possibilities, listed below.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-7


With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

Arizona has one of the best skate scenes in the world. In some ways, I like it better than California, just because the dudes in Arizona seem to be able to shred anything and everything, all the time. One of my favorite skaters, from the desert or elsewhere, is Josh Hawkins. In fact, personally, I've just been waiting for him to turn pro for years now, but just as he was about to turn pro for Powell, he sadly got injured and will be out for a while. In the wake of that, Powell is kicking off most of their team, including Josh and Jordan Hoffart. I'll never look at a Powell deck again without flying into a violent rage. That will be my excuse when I get convicted of assault, anyway.

So here's Josh Hawkins' part in BTL 4. This video came out in 2005, so by my calculation, Josh was about 17 or 18 when this video was released. Even then, his style was smooth, crisp, and easy on the eyes, even when throwing down some seriously gnarly tricks. That ender down Carlsbad (I don't want to spoil the surprise by telling you what it is) is proof that Josh's small bit of recognition that he gets today was probably harder earned than most guys.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Are Longboarders Friends or Foes?

I've heard from some longboarders who feel they should be considered skateboarders, and I've heard skateboarders say that they hate longboarders. I've heard trash talk from both sides for completely different reasons, although a lot more garbage seems to get dumped on longboarders. The issue of how the skateboarding community as a whole feels about longboarders is shockingly complicated. So complicated, in fact, that I have to define some terms before I even really dive into it. From here on out, I will refer to people who exclusively skate on boards with large wheels and long wheelbases for the sole purpose of cruising around- whether it be for transportation or recreation- to be longboarders. People who ride boards with smaller wheels and shorter wheelbases with a preference for doing ollies or other tricks in addition to cruising will hereby be referred to as shortboarders.

Now that I've finished that particularly boring order of business, I will present the arguments. Many shortboarders have a tendency to look at longboarders as a sort of pest, comparable to spiders or mice. Maybe where you live, hyenas sneak into your house at night and reset your alarm clock to wake you up an hour later than you set it, so pests to you would be those hyenas. As long as you understand what  feeling I'm talking about, you can understand how some shortboarders feel about longboarders. If I so much as bring up longboarders up in a skate shop, someone will chime in with, "Ugh, longboarders are so retarded. Hate 'em." Despite all this hatred, though, I never really see people coming up with a good defense for their feelings. It seems so understood in shortboarder culture that they pretty much don't have to.

Most longboarders can't really relate. To the casual longboarder, skateboarding and longboarding are one in the same, it's just that some people choose to ride a bigger board and some ride a smaller board based on what they want to do. As a longboarder spends more time around shortboarders, though, they begin to notice that shortboarders seem to have this culture in which longboarders are unwanted. Some longboarders take the defensive approach, arguing that skateboarding is about expressing one's self, while others take the dismissive approach, claiming that shortboarders just act mad because they've built up an ego around their favorite hobby. These arguments are general impressions and not direct quotes, but I believe they accurately represent how a lot of longboarders feel.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-6

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

This week's video has been seen a good number of times on Youtube, but I went on a streak where I watched this video multiple times a day for about a week, (streak, week, that rhymes!). Therefore, since I am probably responsible for about 1,000 of those views and  I tend to think that most of the other views were people who already knew about Aaron, I'm going to post this as a lesser-known video anyway. This is Aaron Kyro in his online part that I believe he edited and released through his company, which was then known as Revenge but has now converted to Revive Skateboards. His style reminds me a little of Stefan Janoski, only he's doing really sick manual combos instead of long, flowing lines. It's like a cross between Stefan Janoski and Rodney Mullen, I suppose. In any case, I hope you like it. The guy can pretty much do manuals in his sleep, and if you look closely at that manny-360 flip-manny that starts at around 2:57, I think he actually does fall asleep for a moment.

Friday, July 5, 2013

James Hardy, Welcome Back

First of all, my apologies for the sparse content this week and next week. I'm going to be fairly busy for a little while, but when I do come back, it'll be nerdy and excessive like always and you'll hear from me more than twice a week (hopefully). Anyways, onto the main point of this article, which is about James Hardy.

If I were really good at skateboarding and could choose to be any figure in skateboarding, James Hardy would be extremely high on the list. He wasn't some outrageously popular childhood phenom. He didn't have a career where he exploded with popularity and then faded out.He's not even the best paid or most recognized pro out there, he just defines 'skate rat'.

His sponsors are all some of the most solid companies out there, and that's it. Real, Thunder, Spitfire, Fallen, Eswic, and Faith Skateshop. Nothing extra, just the stuff he needs to go out and go skate the best he can.

And as of 2011, James was still living out in the woods to get over his injury. Thrasher just released a full video part from him called "James Hardy's Homecoming". This is the other reason I wish I could skate like James Hardy- his skating can be set to some blues rock and be just about perfect.


He's above being super technical or tackling the most giant handrails (although he can tackle some fairly giant handrails). He just needs some of the rawest spots that the south has to offer, and he can create one of the most gnarly, stylish parts I've seen in a while.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This"-5

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

I love Jordan Maxham. The way he pushes and stands on his board reminds me just a little bit of Tom Penny, and his trick selection is both unique and impeccable. I'm not sure what video this is from (or if it's even from a full video).  All I know is he has great style and that shifty flip at 1:38 makes me jealous of his girlfriend.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Powell Team Fired

Yesterday's "Weekend Buzz" with Kyle Berard and Jordan Hoffart confirmed rumors that Powell-Peralta has fired pretty much their whole team.


I'm sorry to hear about this, and my gut reaction would be to get mad at Powell, but Jordan makes a pretty good case in the video for them just trying to survive. With that said, it's definitely a shame that guys like Jordan, Aldrin Garcia and Josh Hawkins all have to find a new sponsor now,  as I really liked all of those guys. I imagine it will be extra tricky for Josh, since it seems that he injured himself pretty recently and it will be a while before he's back in full force.

Some people have said Josh Hawkins would fit well on Toy Machine, and I tend to agree with them, I think that would be a really good fit. It also kind of makes sense, because Toy Machine's distribution, Tum Yeto, is also connected with Dekline, which is Josh's shoe sponsor. I like to think that Jordan Hoffart and Aldrin Garcia will end up on Birdhouse because of their relationship to various people on Bones (Jaws, Raybourn, etc.) but more than anything it would just make a sick team even sicker. I could also see Hoffart moving over to Darkstar.

In any case, a part of me hopes that the skateboarding industry, as it shrinks and goes through hard times, makes wise choices about where they trim the fat, but of course many of the guys on Powell probably won't ever have a proper sponsor again. I wish them luck though, and hopefully at least my two favorites, Hoffart and Hawkins, get hooked up, because I would be really bummed out if I never saw those guys again.

Friday, June 28, 2013

X Games 2013- Park+Vert

I know I said I would do a write up on the X Games Park and Vert yesterday, but life happens. At that, I didn't try that hard to get it done because I didn't think anyone would notice. I'm still at that stage where a lot of my page views are Russian spam bots. However, a real, human reader of mine did notice and called me out on it, so I guess I need to be more careful about promising things in the future. For now, I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting, and with no further ado, I would like to start jib-jabbing and skatenerding like I always do.

First there was the park final, which I always love watching. It takes place in a concrete bowl, so it doesn't have the same sort of back-and-forth monotony that can sometimes happen when watching Vert or Big Air. For those of you who didn't know, Curren Caples managed to beat defending champ, Pedro Barros on his last run. Curren has apparently been skateboarding since age 4 and it really shows,  because although I usually like watching Pedro Barros or Ben  Hatchell (who got 2nd and 3rd,  respectively) Curren looks more comfortable on a board than just about any other 17 year old that I can think of. His run included lofty frontside flips which were totally on lock and airs over the channel that were absolutely textbook.
 Photo Courtesy of Mark Kohlman for ESPN

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Double Video Breakdown: X games Real Street

The finals for the X Games Real Street contest are upon us. The finalists are two extremely heavy hitters: Guy Mariano and David Gravette. Both great skaters, and in my mind, both were practically robbed of a SOTY trophy. So which one gets it? Let's take a look at the submissions. After you've checked them out, you can cast your vote here if you haven't already.



Monday, June 24, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This"-4

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

Ryan Lay has been killing it for years. After spending some time on Rasa Libre, quitting, then eventually winding up on Enjoi, it seems he's finally starting to get the recognition he deserves. Even still, I don't think that many people have seen his part in what would have been the Ipath video (before they dropped most of their team). His part in "The Other Ones", with it's haunting song and high speed lines full of properly popped tricks that you wouldn't see anywhere else, is a sight to behold. That switch backside hurricane near the end gets me every time.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Happy Go Skateboarding Day

Today is Go Skateboarding Day, rightfully chosen to be one of the longest days of the year (The longest being yesterday). I know I'm off to go skate, but just as I was about to leave, I thought of all the people who can't skate today- those who are injured, or people who live in an area with bad weather for today. Let us salute our brothers (and sisters... as few as there may be) who can not skate today and remind them that there's always tomorrow. It is with you guys in mind that I will not rub it in too much that you can't skate and instead just post one of my favorite videos, "It's Time". Sierra Fellers' part remains one of my all time favorites, and the whole video is really good. I hope you enjoy it and some other blog posts of mine in your time of need.

EDIT: I wanted to preserve the spirit of this post by leaving my words, but the video that I originally posted got taken down. To replace it, I have embedded Sierra Fellers' part only, since I cannot find the full video on Youtube any more.

Skate Jams Vol. 1

This post is a little bit different in that it doesn't strictly have to do with skateboarding. With that said, skateboarding has always had a very close relationship with music. Ever since skate videos came into existence during the 80's, people have been making the link between rhythm and board seem both obvious and beautiful.

This relationship has proven to be especially true for bands with a punk/alternative/indie sound. Both punk and skateboarding are subcultures. Both subcultures share a lot of similar values, including the will to challenge things that are in control for some people, whether they be social norms or the government or the police. Both have historically also had an emphasis on individuality and have valued the creation of art.

Few groups better exhibit this harmonious crossing of cultures as well as the British indie rock group, Bloc Party. Ever since the release of Silent Alarm (officially released in the US in 2005) it seems that skaters dug them immediately. There was of course the beloved Daewon Song part in Skate More which featured "This Modern Love". Skate More, by the way, is still often praised for having a good sound track on top of the legendary skating. Then there's the part from the now seldom-heard-from Corey Sheppard in the Blind video, "What If?"  which used the song "Banquet". I still love that part to this day.

Bloc Party had broken up and then reunited late last year, and now their new album, Four is frequently on my iPod when I skate (but only when I skate by myself- wearing headphones during a group session is both dangerous AND anti-social).

Check out "Kettling" from that album and tell me it doesn't perfectly represent the quitter-hating, anti-authoritative streak that so many skaters share.





Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Tony Karr

Let the record show that I am backing Tony Karr. Great style, creative, and it definitely looks like he's having fun at all times on a skateboard. The photo of that 5-0 at 3:55 has been my desktop background for a while now, and the last minute or so of footage is seriously just stupid. It's stupid that he's that good at skating. Not in a bad way, I just mean it doesn't follow logic or wisdom. I've already said too much. Enjoy:

What's With "Soul Rebel"?

By now I imagine many of you have watched 'Soul Rebel', Mark Appleyard's new part from Element. If you haven't or you just want to rewatch, click here.

And to be honest, when I first watched it, I was a little bit disappointed, and I wasn't really sure why. At first I thought it was just because many of the tricks in there were on bank spots, and I tend to think that Mark shines on ledges and rails, but I don't think that is right, because when I thought about it I realized that I liked the tricks he did. Also, you don't generally watch Mark for difficult tricks, you watch Mark to see his effortless, unnaturally smooth style. Not to mention, I think the guy is in his 30's, so it would be foolish to expect his best work at this point. Not everyone can be Guy Mariano.

After watching the video a second time, I realized what I didn't like about it- the filming and editing appears to have been done by a 12 year old. I'm not usually picky about this sort of thing, but watching this part made me realize just how important editing is. Someone took footage of Mark Appleyard and somehow made it into something that I don't want to watch. It's like someone tried to serve me a pizza off of a man-hole cover. It's a terrible waste of pizza, although the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would probably eat it if I refused to.

There were a lot of details that I feel they just didn't get quite right. First of all, there was not one, not even two, but 3 montages of Mark falling down. And not a single fall was particularly gruesome, as most of them are just him slipping out on banks. It doesn't make Mark look tough and it's not interesting to watch, so it seems as though they are just there to fill up time.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-3

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

This week we have an oldie but a goodie. Frankie Hill was tackling giant gaps and handrails way back in the 80's. He was so far ahead of his time that Nate Sherwood made a documentary that was made seemingly entirely to stress how underrated he was and how much he changed skateboarding. I won't link it here because it's a pretty poorly made documentary, but it has some interesting stuff about Frankie if you want to go find it yourself. For now, enjoy Frankie Hill's part from "Propaganda" and prepare to be stunned.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

SB Chronicles: Vol. 2. Get psyched!

Nike just put out the trailer for Vol. 2 of the SB chronicles. See? It's right here.


And it's been a long time since I've been this excited for a skate video to come out. I think the last time I was this excited was when "Stay Gold" came out, and we all know how our giggling with excitement was not let down by that video (or maybe that was just me).

We've got Luan Oliveira, Daryl Angel, Shane O'Neill, Donovan Piscopo, Theotis Beasley, Justin Brock, and Ishod Wair. All of those guys have been sitting on footage for at least a couple years each with the exception of Theotis Beasley, so you can expect pretty much everyone to bring their A game on this one. The trailer by itself makes me want to skate, especially the most insane nollie frontside flip ever done and Ishod Wair pretty much getting owned by a plant.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Of All Things, Why Nyjah?

 I know, I know, I'm showing up extremely late to this party. Nyjah Huston's comments in his Thrasher interview have been talked about the world over. At first, I didn't think too much of it- Nyjah said something that I thought was ignorant. It wasn't the first time something like this had happened and it wasn't the last, and on top of that, I don't care much about Nyjah besides acknowledging that he's very skilled with a skateboard. I kept seeing the quote, "I personally believe that skateboarding is not for girls at all. Not one bit." And so all was right with the world, in that everyone had a reason to hate on Nyjah again. Hooray!

After a while I remembered that I write a skateboarding blog and figured that this is the kind of stuff that I should probably be talking about, so I looked into it a little and saw the full dialogue. The part that everyone is up in arms about is led into as follows:

"Phelps: The women do the downhill stuff because they think it's like sidewalk surfing. They don't realize how dangerous it really is.
Nyjah: You could get way more served up skating downhill than you could skating a ten-stair rail. Some girls can skate but I personally believe that skateboarding is not for girls at all. Not one bit."


Wait, did anyone else just see the thing that Jake Phelps prompted Nyjah with?

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Future Sucks: Skateboard Retail

The very first blog post that I ever wrote was about an imaginary therapy session between a psychiatrist and the skateboard industry. The premise was probably a little weird and lofty for some people, but the point still stands that the skateboard industry is changing, and for better or worse, it is largely as a result of pressure from us, the consumers.

For those of you that haven't heard, one of the most beloved skate shops in the world, Metro Skateshop, is closing. This makes me contemplate what it will mean in the future to buy skateboarding goods. It seems that more and more, people are opting out of going to a local shop and instead choosing to order things online. This isn't a matter of large corporations crushing the little guys either, as CCS stores (A division of Footlocker) are also beginning to close. Instead, the issue seems to be that people just prefer to buy their skateboarding goods online. I've bought things online a few times in the past, and at the risk of sounding like a crotchety old man, I am going to discuss why this change is going to ruin everything if we let it. The reasons are as follows:

1. The reason everyone talks about- Supporting local shops supports your local skate scene.
This reason is stated most often when discussing the closing of skate shops. The fact of the matter is, small, skater-owned shops are more likely to do 2 things that companies run by other people will not do. They sponsor local skateboarders and they provide a place to organize.
What I mean by "a place to organize" is that skate shop owners can be in touch with local skateboarders and are more equipped to provide things for their local skateboarding community- whether that's by helping create skate spots and parks or scheduling demos, contests, and events, or even occasionally getting petitions together to fight whatever local bans on skateboarding or skate spots that there may be. Or maybe your local skateshop does none of those things, and it's just a safe haven where people sit around, watch skate videos, and complain about cops-that's still something that online stores don't offer. Also, sponsoring local skateboarders might not sound particularly important, but without it, I feel like a lot of young, talented skaters will have to work much harder to gain recognition, and having a team allows for local demos and shop videos, which help inspire other skaters. The relationship between local skaters and their local shop/team is mutually beneficial.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Weekly "Why Haven't I Seen This?"-2

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

This week I am on a bit of a Birdhouse stint, and since Shaun Gregoire rips super hard, he gets the feature this week. He unleashes a very special brand of east coast style in his "Belly of the Beast" part. The night line that starts at 1:22 could not be more perfect.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

When did Birdhouse's team get so good again?

I've been skating for about 7 years now (since 2006), which means that I was first getting into skateboarding at around the time everyone was eagerly expecting the release of Lakai's "Fully Flared", to be released about a year later in 2007.

Birdhouse wasn't exactly doing it's best work from a promotional or team standpoint. I didn't know too much about skateboarding at the time, but I remember thinking of Birdhouse simply as Tony Hawk's company with some other vert guys and a couple of street skaters I had never heard of. On top of that, the last video they had come out with was "The End" which was 8 years prior, and Mr. Hawk wasn't getting much respect for putting his name on an increasingly repetitive video game series.

With that said, I respected the historical significance of the company- Tony Hawk is an undisputed legend, and "The End" featured career-making parts from Rick McCrank and Andrew Reynolds. But I don't think I was alone in declaring the brand as past it's prime.
But while I was mistakenly not looking, they were making moves. Good ones. They released "The Beginning" in 2007, and just because most of us were more concerned with "Fully Flared" that year doesn't make that any less of a fantastic video.
Here's one of my favorite parts from the video, from the still-am Shaun Gregoire:



Tuesday, June 4, 2013

BATB 6=Amazing

Well, yet another Battle at the Berrics has taken place, and what a tournament it was. The final four included Shane O'Neill vs. P-Rod on the goofy section and PJ vs. Mike Mo on the regs. SPOILER: PJ Ladd won, so congrats to him.

So I'm just going to post the links to the finals night videos and point out some of my favorite parts.
Shane vs. Paul
PJ vs. Mike Mo
For third place:Shane vs. Mike Mo
FTW: PJ vs. Paul

Basically, I only have 4 things to point out that I think are awesome:

1. Donovan Strain is alive and well, and was present on finals night- If you haven't seen "Butteryass Mondays" I suggest you start looking right now. The man always had great ideas to keep that show interesting, and him being at the Berrics tells me that he and Berra have buried the hatchet and we might see more of him.
2. Gary Rogers apparently doesn't know how Ro Sham Bo works (or as the sane people on the east coast call it, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors"). He famously called Andrew Reynolds "Rick Reynolds" to his face not very long ago, so I have shifted from thinking that he's ignorant to just thinking he's constantly absent-minded. Which is me trying to find a nice way to say I suspect he's sort of dumb.
3. PJ Ladd deserves a better shoe sponsor than New Balance. I hope they at least treat him well over there.
4. When I was about to watch the finals video, I noticed that Jimmy Carlin was tagged, and I wondered why. It's because he's awesome, that's why, and he appears to be the only one in the room fully appreciating the sickness of what went down in that final battle by stripping down to his boxers and dancing around. If I had the balls too, I would absolutely do the same.

Thanks to the Berrics for all the entertainment they bring to skaters every day.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Weekly "Why haven't I seen this?"-1

With the plethora of skate footage that's out there, it can be easy to overlook things. And yet, so often we stumble upon a video that we've never heard of and find ourselves asking why we hadn't seen it before. Each week, I plan to post another lesser-known video that deserves more recognition, for your viewing pleasure.

So I proudly present the first  installment of "Why Haven't I Seen This?" by starting with Adam Simoni's part in "Products of the Desert". Some of you might remember Adam from his brief time on the season of "Slap's One in a Million"  that notoriously killed the contest. Others have no idea who I'm talking about, but he completely destroys everything for over 9 minutes, and I feel that more people should know about his unique style and impressive trick selection. Switch, regular, nollie, fakie- It doesn't matter, it's all buttery and he makes anything look easy.

Slap Forum Survival Guide

For those of you that don't already know, Slap Magazine has message boards that are notoriously unapologetic and rough. Case in point, this week, some  kid decided to start a thread to tell people about how awesome Revive skateboards is. The Slap community proceeded to tear him a new one. I don't spend too much time on Slap, but I lurk enough that I decided I could make this helpful guide for people new to Slap.

But first, let's see what we're working with. The original post was:

"Just came to say that you guys should really support Andy Schrock's new company Revive! He is a local skater around here and a real cool and zany guy. His new company has a really cool image and not to mention a damn good name. He is a role model to me and acts like a real skater should!. I feel he deserves all the support he can get so if you guys could pick up some Revive product that would be awesome!"

 And before the first cheesy sentence is over, our oblivious poster has broken two rules of Slap.
*Sigh* This might take a while. Better get started.

1. Don't tell Slap members what to do.
The most active members of Slap are also the most opinionated. Telling them that they should support someone comes across as a challenge- because if they should like something, then by the power of Zeus, they already like it. In fact, they've already got a tattoo for it.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Video Breakdown: Luan Oliveira Firing Line

Everyone knows that Luan Oliveira is good. But I still don't feel like he gets talked about enough, so let's break down the absurdity of how good he is by checking out his firing line, step by step.
So we start out with this perfectly caught tre flip down a small, but fairly long set of stairs:

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Skateboarding Industry: A Therapy Session

As skateboarding has become more and more popular over the last 10 years or so, many companies have thought about ways to cash in on it. The unhealthy sugar water industry sent in it's representatives from Mountain Dew, Red Bull, Monster, and Rockstar a few years ago. What's been getting talked about more lately, though, has been the success of large shoe companies. Nike paved the way, Adidas followed, and now it appears New Balance is trying to do the same with some help from Jamie Thomas over at Black Box.

The bottom line is that the skateboarding industry has been undergoing some changes, and some people aren't happy about it. Those people got concerned and decided to make an appointment with a psychiatrist,  so that the skateboarding industry could talk out some of these issues. The following is a transcription of that appointment (The Skateboarding Industry will be abbreviated 'TSI'):

Dr. Lamenski waits patiently, alone in his office. He checks his watch one last time- the session was supposed to start 7 minutes ago.
The door opens. The skateboarding industry walks in, wearing only the finest that the mall had to offer. His hat still has tags on it, his 200 dollar watch is made of plastic, and shoes look brand new.

TSI: Sorry I'm late Dr. Lamenski, did you get that call from my assistant?


Lamenski: That's ok, but no, I did not receive a call.

TSI: Yea, between you and me I think that guy's been smoking a little too much weed lately, he probably forgot. I think I'll fire him soon.